Stuck in the past...

I recently assessed a client at work that inspired me to blog today. This client, lets call her Jane, was stuck in the past. She was so obsessed over what her kids did wrong that she could not see what they were doing right. Jane was upset that her kids were not going to pitch in money to get her the apartment she wanted. She vented about her feelings with me, rightfully. However, when Jane's daughter notified her that the kids would pitch in and get her the apartment, rather than being happy and grateful, she was angrier. She continued to be mean to her daughter, yelling at her for playing with her emotions. Jane could not understand when I told her that she should process her feelings of anger but then accept what had occurred and be grateful for getting what she wanted. Jane thought this was an unusual way of thinking and wanted to just be stuck in the past. Jane is so stuck in the past that she is obsessed with being angry at everyone. Of course, Jane has a personality disorder, mostly with narcissistic traits, but many people present with this way of thinking.

In brief, acknowledge your feelings whether it is anger or sadness, then accept what has occurred, and be grateful if something good comes your way. You will miss out enjoying the new, positive experiences if you are obsessed with being angry or upset. Get out of the pity party, victim mode and move on to being a positive, happy, survivor. It's all about how you reframe you situation.